We often see this scene in TV dramas: at a class reunion many years later, at a round table, the young boys who once stood at the same starting line have now gone to different directions in life. The boys secretly compete with each other in career, car keys and watches, while the girls compete with makeup and clothes, and who can marry well.
In this scene, some people have delicate makeup and look like girls, with shining pigeon eggs dangling on their fingers and laughing like silver bells, while others have wrinkles worn out by life early, and have no time to dye their hair. They are tortured by various bills, mortgages and the money for antihypertensive drugs from their mother-in-law, and their faces are haggard.
Some people say that “marrying a rich man is selling yourself”, but the reality is that if you marry a poor person, you often have to “sell your life”. Today we will not talk about fairy tales, but only dismantle the naked survival rules in marriage.
The economic base determines the superstructure, and marriage is no exception. There is a “stressor theory” in psychology: when the monthly income of a family is less than 20,000, 67% of the quarrels between couples are caused by money.
The most common but most difficult multiple-choice question in the delivery room is: 8,000 for normal delivery, 3,000 for painless delivery, and 50,000 for confinement center. When you tremble with your bank card balance, can love pay the bill for you?
The truth about the workplace is the most heartbreaking: someone quit her job to take care of her baby for three years, and when she returned to the workplace, the HR sneered: “You are still applying for an administrative assistant at the age of 28?” And the rich wife’s bestie used the start-up capital given by her husband to open a picture book library, and now she has opened the third branch.
“A marriage that only considers money is absurd, and a marriage that does not consider money is stupid.”
Here is a truth to be revealed. The “emotional value” of the poor is often more expensive. An emotional expert once said: “The more scarce a person is, the stronger his desire is.”
If you come home from work late at night, your rich husband will say “Thank you for your hard work. I will hire a housekeeper tomorrow”, while your embarrassed husband may look gloomy and say: “How dare you complain about being tired when you earn so little money?”
We are all familiar with an ironic contrast: when a rich man customizes jewelry for his wife, he says “Your happiness is the most important thing”, while a man in the next door rental house roars: “200 yuan for lipstick? Enough to buy food for a week!”
This is not to despise the poor and love the rich, but a clear understanding – when survival resources are scarce, human nature often cannot stand the test.
So here, I want to remind my sisters: marriage is a resource reorganization, and you must not be the “backhand” party. Economist Xue Zhaofeng’s “marriage partnership theory” is very insightful: both parties must take out a “resource package” to jointly operate the enterprise.
Hidden cost list of marrying a poor boy:
- Overdrawing health (working during the day and taking care of the baby at night)
- Cutting off career (“The child cannot be without a mother”)
- Exhausting emotions (always comforting him for not being able to find his talent)
- Reducing quality of life (from store VIP to Pinduoduo)
On the other hand, girls who marry high-quality objects:
- Use their husband’s resources to open a gallery and become an investor
- Send children to international schools to broaden the boundaries of cognition
- Annual physical examination packages are more expensive than your mobile phone
How can this be called materialism? It is clearly knowing how to use marriage as a lever in life.
Be clear, marrying a rich man does not mean being a canary. A truly smart girl has already turned marriage into a “resource allocation game”.
In the economics of mate selection, is it safer to choose a doctor who earns a million a year than a boyfriend who delivers takeout? No! It depends on his income structure – is it a job that may lead to unemployment at any time, or a career that can bring in connections?
Choosing a spouse is a lifelong event. We must master the risk hedging rules. I know a girl from an investment bank. Her prenuptial agreement states that “if divorced, she can get 2% of the man’s company’s equity.” She said: “This is not a calculation, it is insurance for love.”
In addition to the risk hedging rules, there must also be a resource realization mindset. A top student who graduated from a prestigious university chose to marry an entrepreneur after graduation and used her husband’s resources to build a high-end maternal and child brand. Now the company is valued at over 100 million. She said: “Marriage does not give me a bank card, but a fulcrum to pry the world.”
I never advocate “money only theory”, but when the hospital collection notice arrives, when the child looks at the Lego in the window eagerly, when the parents lie in the ICU and you tremble when signing the consent form –
You will suddenly understand: a good marriage, you have to talk about money, but also about how to use money to protect love. Instead of betting on a man’s future, it is better to grasp the visible present. After all, marriage has never been a utopia, but a Noah’s Ark that needs real money to build.
